BOKASYONG AGUSTINO MINISTRY

I am Mark Anthony Morales Ferrer, 29 years old born from Thelma Morales Ferrer and Charito Ferrer. I am the only child from the first legitimate family. It was said that my father left my mother months after I was born. Since then, I have never seen my father and have known him only by his name. My mother after some months bore a child from another man, they were forced to live together since they thought they loved each other. My grandparents from my mother’s side cared so much for my future and decided to adopt me. They did not allow my mother to bring me to Leyte, hence from then on, I grew up with my grandparents. My grandmother, Teresita Morales, stood as my Mother and my grandfather, Alejandro Morales, stood as my Father. They provided everything for me, my uncles and my aunt provided for my needs and All of them contributed so as I can have a better future. At my early childhood years, I grew up playing inside the convent of the Salesian sisters since my grandfather was working for them and we were living inside their school and convent. It was then a limited world for me, I go to school where we live and go home to the same compound. But yet, on 1992, we were forced to vacate our so-called home, the Archdiocese of Manila took over the administration of the school, hence, with the sisters we left the place. On the night before we travel, my uncles and grandfather destroyed the house, and at the early hour of dawn, we left manila and started our journey towards our new abode in Canlubang, Calamba, Laguna.

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My early memories of Canlubang days was the day I was lost while the whole family was busy cleaning and fixing our house and I was busy exploring our new place. It was also the first day when I got a deep wound and scar after having been fallen from our Canal. I was scolded then, for I was too naughty, but yet, it was not the scolding that keeps me, but the care that my grandfather showed me while treating my wounds and trying to pacify me from my crying.  

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It was in Canlubang that I have learned to develop my personality. It was there that my family sent me to private school and has provided me everything. I was a spoiled kid. Everything I asked was given. I don’t do household chores, admittedly, I was a lazy child. I frown and moan whenever they ask me to do something, but yet and still they provide me what I ask from them. My grandparents do not only wash my clothes but more so, they do most of the time my assignments. They treated me as If I was their own child. They loved me so much, they cared for me much.

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With their loving care, I have learned, I have learned the values of life, i have learned how to be a better person. They taught me how to pray, they introduced God to me. Every night my lolo will tell me stories about God and the story of creation. Every night I will be asking him of the same stories. They taught me to be generous in giving, and to be friendly at all times. With this I do believe that my vocation to priesthood started from them, it developed from the simple family that I have.

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Because of the guidance of my lolo and lola, I have become a friendly person. Even during my childhood days, I really love making friends with my fellow young, I love talking with my friends and playing with them.  My grandparents supported all my relating-to-others activity. And while doing so, they inculcated in me the value of time and discipline. I can remember clearly that my childhood seemed to be like a seminary day already, I have my own time table, such as siesta in the afternoon, sports after four and be home for orasyon at six in the evening, so after we can all eat together at seven. My lolo and lola, though, do not regularly attend Sunday mass, were very pious. They have all the devotion to Santo nino, titles of Mary and Nazareno. Though we do not pray together, they at least told me the basic prayer and the importance of talking to Jesus and Mary.

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I love going to school, not only because of my interest in studies, but more so, because of baon and fun moments with my friends. I remember that I cried too much, when my befriend left our school and opted to study somewhere else. I felt alone. But yet, in my high school days, I acquire barkadas, when I where already serving the church, I used to make friends easily with the students I taught with catechism and with my fellow altar servers.

They have supported me in everything. When I asked their permission that I wanted to serve the Church, they allowed me. Though, there will come a time that we do not have money enough for our living, they will still find ways to provide me with my transportation and snack allowance so I can comply with my obligations in the parish. And when I asked them that I wanted to enter the seminary, they allowed me, they were with me in my preparations. And when I was about to leave, it was the first time I saw my grandfather cried for me. It was then, that I have felt how much I have been loved.

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I never planned of entering the seminary nor the religious life. I did not have any idea about priesthood nor anything about the church. I was just then a nominal Christian who only attends Liturgical celebration during the eve of Christmas and on good Friday. I wanted to travel the world with my then dream profession – a Marine Biologist. I was already up to for scholarships and other plans. But it was just out of curiosity that with my classmate, we decided to have our first communion. It was November 2002, when I first received the Body and Blood of Christ. I was in my second year high school when I had my first communion. And it was then that I became too curious on the priestly life. During our seminars, I had then many questions with my Catechist of what is priesthood? how do priest earn their living? How to become a priest? Etc. It was just then a plain curious question, and I did not realize that it will lead to something better and deeper. After the celebration of the Eucharist, the catechists started to invite us to join in serving the church. I responded immediately and joined their group. A week after, I started to become an active member, I religiously attended all meetings and on-going formation, we were just about 10 students and the rest were lolas.  A month after, on evening of December 24, I attended the Christmas eve mass with one of the lola catechists, Nanay Len, It was my first active participation on the Christmas eve mass. And I was then really amazed of the solemnity of the occasion. The celebration was held outside the church, and since the church itself is quite elevated form the road, the altar was staged at church grounds and the people were on the road.  During the singing of the Gloria, while the altar servers were bringing the baby Jesus in the manger and fireworks were filling out the sky, my heart then became too restless, I was then having goosebumps, and was then telling myself that I also wanted to serve God in the altar. Right after the celebration, I talked to the coordinator and inquired of how to become an altar server. He warmly accommodated me and enlisted me among the members. He told me that I just have to attend meetings to be trained and later on can take my schedules. I did. I attended the meetings and gradually has taken my schedules. Months after I was appointed as one of the officers of the group. Happy indeed, that with my further formation with the officers, our lay minister in-charge indeed inculcated in us the value of our religious vocation. He guided us not only on our altar services but also on our journey. He had always wanted us to enter the seminary, hence he opened our minds and hearts on the possibility of entering the seminary. HE treated our group as seedbed of vocation, hence, supplied us with all the necessary formation we need to love the vocation to the priesthood. He was then successful with one of our colleagues who joined the diocesan seminary. From time to time, Ric, was talking to me and inviting me to join the seminary. I was attracted with all his stories, and with the clerical attire he used to wear. After my graduation, I decided to enter the diocesan seminary. I wanted to become a priest, before, it was just an attraction on clerical attires, but it was deepen as I journey in the seminary. Ric transferred to the religious and now an ordained Franciscan. From a simple attraction my intentions clarified. I had now this concrete idea of why am I in the seminary, that is, to give myself fully to the life I had always wanted, for the service of God and of the Church. I am in the seminary because I wanted to serve and to love. I wanted to celebrate the Eucharist and to celebrate the sacrament of reconciliation.

 

But God really had his own way. In the midst of my second-year college, I was diagnosed with having stone in my gallbladder, I had to be rushed to the hospital and to have an immediate surgery. My recovery was fast so I immediately joined the schedules, but yet, two months after I was recommended to rest due to my health. I worked in my parish and helped in all pastoral activities, I was asked to teach in one of the catholic schools as a substitute teacher and asked to hold formation classes among the altar servers and other youth groups. I was recalled to the seminary and continued my philosophical studies. But yet, with the exposure I had outside, my heart seemed to long for something, I was happy in the seminary but yet something seems to be unsatisfying me. Crisis came to my senses, seminary life then had become an absurd reality. Adding to my confusion were my problems in the family. My grandfather got stroke and my half-brothers needed to finish high school. After graduation, I left the seminary. Still concerning with my vocation, I first worked with opus Dei as researcher, but yet salary was too small, it was not even enough for my own living in Makati. Hence, a month after I decided to leave and to look for another work. Luckily, I was accepted in our catholic schools system as a religion teacher. While teaching, I also spent time in silence and reflection. I used to spend time in the neighboring parish Church. I enjoyed doing retreats and visita iglesia. Since I was in-charge of religion, I had this rare opportunity to go with sections as they go for recollection and retreats.

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One holy week, while having a family visita iglesia in the churches of manila, I happened to bump with Faith Ponce, he was my classmate in pre-college. With the short conversation and exchange of numbers, I got interested with the life they had. He told me of the main charism which is the community life and interiority. I felt like a man who has find a precious pearl. I thought of having found the thing I have been searching for. We communicated regularly and during his vacation we used to meet at a mall in Calamba. I was attracted with the way of life. I told him that I wanted to attend the search in. He helped me and introduced me then to Father Ants, I took my exams and interview, but yet I did not enter because by then, my family still needs me. 2013, my brother graduated from high school and my grandfather passed away. I thought I am now freed from my responsibility, thus, I again contacted Fr. Faith and decided to enter the seminary. I had my search in and was interviewed with Fr. Arnold, and on May 24, I entered and join the Order of Saint Augustine.

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I have realized how restless was I in my former way of life, and despite of the difficulties I had in the postulancy, with the challenges in the community, I have found myself at peace. In my fourth year in the order, I have realized how the happiness within still persist and still continuously growing.  Happiness is the reason why I am still here and why I am still pursuing. Happiness makes me stay. Happiness makes me grow. Happiness that is not only about the outside, but that of within.  And with this happiness, I believe, that despite of my weaknesses as a person, I am called. I have the vocation to live by every day. God’s mercy is the reason why I am here, and I do believe that it is through his mercy that I shall still be here. And with I am afraid. I am afraid, that I might not make it. From my postulancy days, I only one prayer, that the Lord may grant that I may die as a religious. Thus I am afraid to loose this life of my being a religious. I only desired to offer my life and to die as a religious looking forward to the means of eternal happiness. And with this, I only have one hope for the future, that is to remain in the order. To stay and to die as member of the Order of Saint Augustine.